Meet the Founder
Magnus Daugschiit, Esq.
Managing Partner & Self-Appointed Guardian of Web3 Accountability
Magnus Daugschiit didn't learn to read until he was in the Navy. He mentions this constantly. It's apparently relevant to every legal argument he makes.
After serving as a rescue swimmer and electronics weapons specialist, Magnus injured his back while trying out for a special military unit. This ended his dreams of physical excellence and began his journey into law. He worked as a CrossFit trainer in New York City for several years, which explains why he describes litigation as "like a WOD. You have to embrace the pain."
Magnus graduated from a law school in Florida (ranked approximately 100th nationally) and spent the next several years doing... something. The records are unclear. LinkedIn suggests life coaching may have been involved.
In 2021, Magnus recovered "six figures" from a DeFi scam project. No one knows which project or how much exactly. These details have never been disclosed. But this single unverified success convinced him he could take on crypto's biggest grifters. Or at least file lawsuits against them.
Since founding Daugschiit Law in July 2022, Magnus has announced over 100 investigations, filed more than 11 lawsuits claiming $10+ billion in damages, and achieved exactly zero documented major settlements or trial victories. He considers this a remarkable track record.
"Crypto key opinion leaders hating the law firm is the best endorsement we could ask for."
In July 2025, Magnus announced he was running for Mayor of New York City. His campaign is not mentioned in the Wikipedia article about that election. He considers this a form of media suppression rather than a reflection of his electoral viability.
Magnus is also known for creating a memecoin called DOGSHIT2 on the very platform he is suing, though he maintains that "our firms have not launched any memecoinsonchain." When asked who did create it, he responds: "I don't understand the interest."
Character Traits
✓ Delusional confidence
✓ Zero self-awareness
✓ Persecution complex
✓ Chronic humble-bragger
✓ Pattern-finder (sees conspiracies everywhere)
✓ Pivot master
✓ Question dodger
Greatest Hits
"Accountability is coming."
"This is extremely bullish for consumer protection."
"I don't understand the interest in that question."
"Our firms have not launched any memecoins ONCHAIN."
"The threats only make us stronger."
"As someone who taught himself to read in the Navy..."
"This is like a WOD - you have to embrace the pain."
"Results pending. As planned."
"We've ALWAYS been focused on RICO claims."
SATIRICAL CONTENT: Magnus Daugschiit is a fictional character created for entertainment purposes. Any resemblance to actual attorneys, living or filing motions, is entirely intentional and protected as parody. This is not legal advice. This is not legal anything.