Active Litigation Portfolio
Our cases represent billions in claimed damages across the crypto ecosystem. Results remain pending. As planned. This is actually extremely bullish for consumer protection.
The full portfolio of pending accountability
Defendant: Baton Corp., Solana Labs, Solana Foundation, et al.
Class action alleging that a memecoin launchpad constitutes a racketeering enterprise.
Magnus Notes
"Judge already criticized us for filing duplicate lawsuits. Bullish."
Defendant: N/A (Self-inflicted)
Someone created a token on the platform we are suing. It appeared as Exhibit C in our own lawsuit.
Magnus Notes
"Our firms have not launched any memecoins ONCHAIN. (Pump.fun tokens are created offchain.)"
Defendant: Haliey Welch, et al.
Action against a viral celebrity memecoin.
Magnus Notes
"She cooperated with us before we added her as a defendant. Classic litigation strategy."
Defendant: Kelsier Ventures, et al.
Action related to token promoted by Argentine President.
Magnus Notes
"We got an asset freeze! (Assets frozen ≠ assets recovered, but still.)"
Defendant: Nike, Inc.
Alleging that Nike abandoned its NFT project.
Magnus Notes
"I was at the RTFKT party in Brooklyn. Now I represent clients against them. No conflict."
Defendant: Democracy itself
Announced campaign to become Mayor of New York City.
Magnus Notes
"Not even mentioned in the Wikipedia article about the election. Accountability."
Strategic Narrowing
Sometimes the path to accountability means dropping defendants without explanation. This is actually a sign of strength.
Voluntarily dismissed
Official spin:
"Strategic narrowing of the case"
No settlement payment. No consideration. Plaintiffs simply dropped them.
"Every case we file is a victory for accountability. The fact that none have resulted in major recoveries yet is actually EXTREMELY bullish. The system is designed to take time. As someone who taught himself to read in the Navy, I know something about patience, ser."
— Magnus Daugschiit, Esq.
When asked about the firm's win record
We're always looking for new investigation targets. If you lost money on any crypto project, you may be entitled to join a class action that will remain pending for years.
Submit Your ClaimATTORNEY ADVERTISING | SATIRICAL CONTENT | This website is a parody created for entertainment purposes. No actual legal services are offered. Any resemblance to actual law firms, living or pending in motions practice, is entirely intentional. Results have not varied because results have not occurred. Prior results do not guarantee future outcomes, but neither do current efforts apparently.
